It’s that time of year to enroll for your Valentine’s Day benefit. A benefit filled with impossible expectations, calories, the birds and the bees. Enrollment for this benefit typically occurs throughout February but most wait for the last minute panic to set in. Valentine’s benefits are provided in three plans to get the most bang for your buck. Please pick the plan that best fits your relationship status! In order to receive your Valentine's Day benefits, all participants must enroll before February 14th. Failure to meet this deadline will result in frustration, guilt and broken Valentine's Day expectations for you or your loved one.

Plan 1: Single and Ready to Mingle

Even though this is the most affordable of all the Valentine’s Day benefit plans, this one also has the highest risk of feeling like a loser on the day of love. For enrollment in this plan, you have two sub-plan options to choose from. Plan 1a includes a night alone, in your jammies, with Sleepless in Seattle and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Plan 1b can be summed up in one sentence: Don’t feel like a loser and get yourself a date.

Plan A Plan B

Plan 2: In a Relationship

For those who enroll in this benefit plan, be aware of the impossible expectations that you will never, ever be able to meet. Enrollees should consider Valentine’s Day stuffed full of roses, baby cupids, chocolate, hearts, paper cards, giant stuffed animals, fireworks, diamonds and romance. This benefit plan is all about buying the love, affirmation, and affection so desperately wanted.

Total Valentine’s Day Investment

Plan 3: Until Death Do You Part

Stuck with the ball and chain? Then this benefit plan is for you. This plan includes last minute panic and regret as you’ve done little for your beloved before the enrollment period ends. Guilt from your loved one is a guarantee. Enrollees in this plan will spend little before February 14th but will be required to spend tons more afterwards in retribution. Plan early or enjoy the doghouse!

I'm Sorry Coupons

Opt Out